Coaching Journal (2) – Focusing attention: It’s not about the no. of sessions

Not long ago, a student of mine from the coaching lessons I teach for ICA (International Coaching Academy) asked me: How many sessions do I need in order to have good results in a coaching relationship?

I hear this question from many coaches who are just starting out. They feel the pressure of having results and try to control the process.

At the beginning, when you work on the fundamentals, one of the first conversations is about what coaching is and what exactly is it that you do, as a coach? Usually, you end up explaining what coaching is not, stating the difference between therapy, consultancy, mentoring and coaching.

This is when you might notice if the guy who asked you is interested for real. If he is, he’s probably got a personal project or a business and the question has a deeper meaning. But he also might be just curious, interested or have an inner motivation to see what your own way to define coaching is. Or maybe he’s not really interested because he’s got nothing to change or start building.

So answer only after you understand the question’s intention. If you give a clear and technical definition to a person who’s not interested for real, he will not resonate with your answer.

Let’s try one: Coaching is based on a relationship between two people. The client seeks answers and solutions and hires a coach. The coach takes care of the process and the way the relationship takes shape, not interfering by setting goals or giving advice. The client is responsible for obtaining results.

This was rather complex.

Here’s the other: The coach is like a catalyst, inspiring the client and helping him articulate his true wishes, leaving him enough space to do that, encouraging him to unveil and avoiding to offer solutions.

Which one is better?

Going back to my student’s question about the number of sessions, any answer would be just a guess. In coaching, results appear depending on your client. If he’s an entrepreneur running a small business and contracts you in order to start writing some awesome business proposals, it might be enough a three months relationship. You meet once a week and train that certain ability.

When you work in executive management, things are at the antipodes. The distance between sessions is much bigger, you will meet occasionally (one a month, or once every two months) and the sessions will concentrate more on changing a behavior. Not to mention that changes will start happening after 6 to 9 months.

If you got a 12 session coaching relationship, you might stumble onto things and lose focus. The first three sessions are very engaging, followed by a downfall and then a come-back, roughly after the 8th meeting.

It also depends on your client’s natural rhythm, which cannot be forced. That’s why you have to wait for your client to have the results and feel them at his own pace.

This might be the hardest part of all.